Google it is (2)

“Get out of the house right now, we are going to the doctor” I was yelling on top of my voice. “No” said Sonia, as determined as possible. “if you don’t get out right now I will make sure that I get a doctor home” I said. “I’ll take my bike and leave and go bang it somewhere” she said. Now my blood was boiling. Here she is, standing in front of me with 30 tablets of Crocin down her throat and now fussing about coming with me to the doctor?! I had just lost all my calm, I just wanted to slap her hard, get her unconscious and carry her to the hospital but then I thought to myself, ‘she has already taken a stupid decision by losing her calm so I cannot afford to lose mine’ “ok, fine at least can we go out for a ride? I swear to God I won’t take you to see the doctor” I lied. Looking at me so determined not to leave she said “ok, I’ll just take my jacket”

I had no clue as to which doctor to take her to. It was 15^th August so I was wondering if the doctor’s were on a holiday. So silly of me to think that, but what can one expect from a person who is in a literal life and death situation. “Sonia, don’t sleep” I was instructing her as I was holding her with one hand and riding my bike with the other. “Oh God, why dint I get my car, it would have been easy to handle her” I was thinking to myself. Squeakkkk I hear the sound of one car breaking right in front of me. The man inside jus made a hand movement which indicated “what the hell are u doing?” I dint have time to stop or apologize, I just carried on. “baby please don’t sleep” I was begging her. “PP, where are you taking me? Are you taking me to your place?” she was questioning me in her droopy voice. “No, I am taking you to the river side. Remember I had told you about this beautiful place?” I was trying my best to convince her.

I parked my bike in the parking lot of Trishul General Hospital. Sonia was in her senses. She looked at the hospital and was all ready to run. “I will start screaming right here that you consumed paracetamol and tell the whole world” I warned her, and she knew I wasn’t lying. She knew my crazy side and despite the fact that she liked that part of my personality otherwise I could swear that she hated that quality of mine that very moment. “PP it’s so embarrassing” she started to cry. “Nobody needs to know If you walk in quietly with me. I know some doctors here they’ll take care of you”.

As we entered the hospital I could sense everybody looking at us. As if they knew what Sonia had done. For some unknown reason I was embarrassed. I walked inside and spoke to the nurse. “I need to see the doctor, my friend here is experiencing severe headache and stomach pain” I said. “Fill this form and sit in the waiting the doctor will see you in just a bit” said the nurse. “PP I am so sorry, you are going through all this trouble because of me.” Her eyes were filled with apologetical tears. “It’s ok Sonia, I’ll handle it, just please co-operate with me and the doctors.”

“Please come inside” said the nurse. The doctor started her check up and as usual asked her ‘where are you feeling pain? For how many hours? What did you eat?’ and this dumb nut was answering her questions without telling her why she was actually there. “she consumed 30 tablets of crocin” I blurted. Sonia stared at me as if asking ‘couldn’t you be a little more delicate?’ and the doctor just staring blankly at me and then at Sonia. “Why did you consume those tablets?” she questioned Sonia. There was this cold side to the doctor. It looked like she hardly cared. Probably that’s the reaction one must expect when she tries to kill herself. If you don’t want to live what’s the point of me being nice.

Sonia was quiet. She dint tell the doctor the reason of course. “we have to get it all out, need to put a pipe through your nose and flush it out” said the doctor.

The next thing I know I was out of the room and Sonia was been treated.

“she’s just not co-operating, we have to admit her” the doctor was telling me. I was staring at Sonia as she was sitting there, not even with the slightest of regret for doing what she did but actually feeling sorry for putting me through all this trouble. “you better get yourself admitted babe, if you want I’ll stay with you, tell your folks that you are crashing at my house tonight and I’ll tell my folks the same but you need to get admitted.. please…. “ I was begging her now. “PP call my brother. I don’t want you to stay here with me in case something serious happens” she said. “are you sure?” I asked. “yes” she replied assertively.

“hello… vivek, hey listen…. Can you come to trishul hospital… ya… actually Sonia has consumed some tablets and she has been asked to admit herself… ya … ok…. I’ll come near the cross road” click. The call was made, Vivek was on his way.

“why the hell did she do that???!!!!!” vivek questioned me as soon as he reached. “I don’t know, please ask her, she’s inside. I have some work to do.  You have my number. Just call me if you need anything” I said and left as I had to go to purchase something my mom had asked me to get.

Tring tring.. my phone was buzzing. “ya vivek tell me” I said. “PP , Sonia is in a serious condition, the doctor said she is critical and there’s a high chance that she can die by morning” vivek was talking to me and I caught nothing other than ‘she can die by morning’. “I’ll be right there” I said and hung up. My heart was beating like crazy and I could actually feel my heart sink for the first time in my life. I reached the hospital in two minutes but it felt like I was riding my bike for hours.

Vivek was standing outside the hospital. Tears rolling down his face. I had no clue how to console him. Beep beep beep I dialed my landline number. “hello pappa…” and I told my dad the entire story and begged him to come to the hospital as soon as possible.

Dad was there and so was rohan, Sonia’s boyfriend. I took dad to the room she was admitted in. looking at her I was in tears. My knees went weak. She had a pipe going through her nose and she was lying as if unconscious, unable to move. I was terrified looking at her condition. There was vomit on her clothes and she was vomiting more but still, unable to move.  My dad went and sat next to her talking to her. “Sonia.. don’t worry ok.. u’ll be just fine.. please cooperate with the doctors dear” Sonia was weeping now. As if saying ‘I m sorry for letting anybody tell you that I am dying.’

I was out by than talking to the doctor asking her what I should be doing next. She gave me a letter and asked me to take her to GMC as it was a police case and it would be best if we took her there as the hassles would be minimal. I was in two minds but I had to do something quick. My dad made a few calls and decided that we should take her to GMC after all.

As I was getting ready to leave with my car I asked vivek and rohan to get Sonia in rohan’s car. They followed my instructions. I reached GMC and spoke to the doctors in the casualty. They asked me to get Sonia inside.

From there on she was under the supervision of the GMC doctors. We just did the running about of getting her admission done and taking her to the woman’s ward. “she’ll be alright. We are only worried about her liver, it can have some damage. But other than that she’ll be fine” and that, was our first sigh of relief.

Sonia lived, but there is still a part of me that wonders whether she deserved it. There are people in this world who fight to live. Ask me, I fought myself. Terrible things happen to people mentally, physically and emotionally but they still have the guts to look life in the eyes and challenge it. Ending one’s life requires guts, but living it requires courage. I hope she has realized that even if she doesn’t love herself her family and friends do. Once she was out of the hospital there were many things I told her about life, death, family, friends, strength, weakness and she listened, but the one thing I tell her even today after all the brainstorming and counseling sessions is that ‘I love her, no matter what’. That’s all I can say and that’s all she needs to hear.